Lately, I have noticed how there is so much confusion and worry behind poor decision making.
A sister called me saying she does not know what to do, she is torn because she made a decision that did not truly resonate with her and now wants to change her mind but she fears the reaction of others.
Another sister has taken off her hijab to please her spouse. She wants to come closer to Allah Azza Wajal but at the same time does not want to displease her spouse.
A sister I know, studied engineering for several years because she wanted to be with some loved ones. She has graduated in that field but really dislikes it and does not want to work in it.
A mother left her children to her ex husband’s family because of her family’s pressure. Her children are now being raised by their grandmother and she is facing depression.
All of these cases have one thing in common. They did not make decisions they really resonated with. They did not make decisions, they can stand behind on the Great Day. Rather, they let others and circumstances decide for them.
Any decision made to please others over what we truly resonate with and any decision made knowingly against the commands of Allah Azza Wajal and the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alayhi wa Salaam put us in uncomfortable situations, lead to regrets and rob us of our peace of mind in this life and the next.
We need to resist negative peer pressure because no one will carry our sins for us.
وَقَالَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّبِعُوا سَبِيلَنَا وَلْنَحْمِلْ خَطَايَاكُمْ وَمَا هُم بِحَامِلِينَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُم مِّن شَيْءٍ إِنَّهُمْ لَكَاذِبُونَ
And those who disbelieve say to those who believe: “Follow our way and we will verily bear your sins,” never will they bear anything of their sins. Surely, they are liars. (29:12)
As humans, we are naturally influenced by others and by our environment. The question is how aware are we of these external influences? How do we make sure that those who influence us have a positive impact on us and influence us to increase in goodness?
It all comes down to these questions:
How do we make life decisions? Do we make decisions thinking of the Day of Accountability or do we decide based on what would appease and please others? Do we know what we truly want for ourselves?
This Saturday in shaa Allah, I am hosting a free self-care soul searching session for sisters where we will be studying ourselves a bit more. If you agree with me that it is important for us to have some clarity in this life of ours, join us. We will strive to answer a few questions for ourselves to gain a bit more clarity as to what affects our life choices. The more self-aware we are, the better we will be at self-accountability bi idhnillah.
Let’s learn from the leader of the believers, Umar ibnul Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) who wisely said:
“Account for yourself before you are accounted for.”
If you have not yet registered for our free event, click on the link below and register before we close registration this Wednesday in shaa Allah.